(Not to be mistaken for the wonder product "Goo-B-Gone")
As the proud owner of a vagina, I am certainly interested in maintaining its health, its wellness, and its fair share of sexy times. In recent years, more specifically since I pushed two children through Ye Ol' Birth Canal and in to the world, I have a far greater level of respect for what these incredible organs can do. (I often reference a quote I read a long time ago about birth - "It's like pushing a watermelon out a hole the size of a lemon." However inaccurate the sizing may be, it really did feel that way.)
But it wasn't always this way. In fact, up until I watched the film presentation of Eve Ensler's "Vagina Monologues", I was unable to physically say the word "VAGINA". Vagina vagina vagina. Somehow, after coming face-to-face with beautiful old ladies who named their vag's and wanted them to wear pearls, it didn't seem like much to be ashamed about. After all, I didn't ask to have a vagina - it was decided for me just after conception. So why was I so embarrassed to say the word? All this aside, I still refer to my bits in many ways - some of which are far more... UNREFINED... than my Grandmother would ever want me to say.
Vagina. (Another one, just for good measure!)
So now that I am completely "at the cottage" (read: FAR more comfortable than just "at home" with something) with vaginas, I have started to amass articles, books, links, and videos that openly discuss it in all its glory. THEM in all THEIR glory. After all, no two vaginas are alike - no two vaginas should BE alike. But this is where we as a society have gone so far off the path, that it would seem those of us who don't possess the hairless, perfectly symmetrical labia of those sought-after porn stars do not deserve to own a vagina at all.
And that's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. And after years of vehemently refusing to go completely bald, my vag is finally having its day in the sun. Metaphorically, not literally. I'm not ready to be arrested for public pussy displays... yet.
Kate sent me a link to an article from CBC titled "Goop has exploited the medical establishment's failures on women's health" It discusses the controversial touting of "snake oil" treatments and products for women by Gwyneth Paltrow's brain-child GOOP. What apparently started out as a newsletter written in GP's kitchen - and was a way for women to connect and find recommendations from their "best friend" as opposed to an internet search engine - has become a beast of a business, bringing in millions and millions of dollars based on products and regiments that can have seriously negative impacts on a woman's health.
Sometime in 2015, GP went public with her campaign for "Vagina Steams". She claimed, completely inaccurately for that matter, that the benefits of sitting overtop of a vessel of steaming hot water with herbs floating around in it “stimulates the production of hormones to maintain uterine health, aids regular menstrual cycles, clears up hormonal acne, promotes circulation, and helps correct digestive disorders.” Blah blah blah... VAGINBLAH.
Let's unpack this a bit. First of all, there is zero empirical evidence that any of this nonsense actually has health benefits. In fact, the risks are pretty scary - allergic reactions, second-degree burns from the steam, and vaginal infections. OUCH. Any decent OB/GYN will tell you the vagina is a truly magical organ that SELF-CLEANS. So why would I need to steam-clean mine? Steaming can upset the delicate ecosystem that thrives in our vaginas - the system that really does its own work to balance and cleanse and stay healthy. THANKYOUVERYMUCH. GP is also in serious need of some anatomy lessons, particularly in the ways of vagina-to-uterus movement. If anything is to make its way between the two, it has to be high-pressured... think ejaculation... so steam going up through your vagina and in to your uterus is damn near impossible. And since it's also impossible to BREATHE through your vag (read: inhale), your bits are not about to suck the steam up in to your uterus. I mean, we've all experienced those embarrassing moments of "exhalation" during sex... but... inhalation? HA.
But I digress...
GOOP is now a multi-billion dollar business built on the backs of believers who will swallow just about any old pill that a celebrity shoves in their hand. You can find hundreds of articles on lifestyle, travel, recipes, sex, and so on and so forth. But after she campaigned for the V-Steam, I was immediately suspect of ANYTHING else that woman was touting. I'd rather take the sage (and well-educated) advice of THE REAL GP (General Physician), and work with him to find a balance of lifestyle, diet and much-needed medication to sustain a healthy living for myself. But that's just me.
I'm not a doctor. I'm not a scientist. But I do believe that it's important to understand what you're being presented with, and really weigh the benefits and the risks in a LOGICAL + RATIONAL way. Mounting a wooden bowl full of piping hot herbal water will never make me OR my vagina look like Gwyneth Paltrow. But I'm okay with that. As I continue to progress in my journey towards self-love, body-acceptance and genuine confidence in myself, I am really starting to care for it all - my vag included. It's all part of the package, after all.
So, GOOP be gone. Stop preying on those who don't think to do the work of researching a product, a treatment or a lifestyle change. Just STOP.
GOOP BE GONE.
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